How Parents and Loved Ones Can Help
It can be challenging to find the right balance between supporting your student and providing them with the right amount of space to build problem-solving skills. If you have noticed signs of distress and are concerned for your student, it is important that they know you are there to support them, even from far away.
Talking & Listening: How to Support a Student
Start the Conversation
- Gently name what you’ve noticed: “I’ve seen you seem a little off lately—how are you doing?”
- Express genuine care and concern
Listen Without Judgment
- Let them share without interrupting
- Hold back on advice unless they ask for it
- Avoid jumping in to fix things or telling them how to feel
Ask to Understand
- Use open-ended questions to learn more about their experience
- Stay curious and calm—your job is to understand, not solve
Offer Encouragement
- Reassure them that they’re not alone and that you’re there for them
- Share a similar experience if it helps normalize their feelings, but try not to shift the focus to yourself
Give Them Space to Talk
- Don’t rush to solutions—sometimes just talking it out can ease distress and make someone feel supported
Remember: your presence, patience, and empathy can go a long way.
Ask About Their Needs: Support Starts with a Question
Help Them Explore
If they’re unsure, that’s okay. You can:
- Gently ask about their biggest concerns
- Offer a few ideas or options without pressuring them
- Keep the tone supportive, not solution-focused
Give Them Options
Having choices helps students feel more in control and less overwhelmed. Whether it’s talking to someone, taking a break, or exploring campus resources—let them know there’s no one right way to move forward.
Respect Their Pace
If they’re not ready for help or say they need space—and it’s not an emergency—respect where they are. Let them know you’ll be there when they’re ready.
Your compassion and willingness to meet them where they are can make a lasting difference.
Encourage Them to Seek Help: You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
Share Campus Resources
- Talk about what support services exist (like the Counseling Center, Student Outreach and Case Management, academic resources, etc.)
- Encourage them to reach out and make the first connection
- Offer to check in with them afterward to see how it went
Build a Support Network
Help your student think about who else they can turn to:
- Professors
- Staff or advisors
- Mentors, friends, or partners
Knowing others are also looking out for them can bring comfort to both you and your student.
Support Their Independence
If your student is in a place to do so, encourage them to take the lead. Reaching out on their own helps build confidence and life skills—like problem-solving and self-advocacy.
Step In If Needed
If they’re feeling overwhelmed or unable to take action, it’s okay to help by finding information or offering gentle guidance.
Your encouragement and follow-up can be just the nudge they need to take that next step.
Seek Additional Support: You’re Not Alone in This
Campus Resources That Can Help
- Student Outreach and Case Management: If your student isn’t open to reaching out on their own, SOCM can follow up with them directly.
- Mental Health Support for the UNC Community: This page provides resources available to help our community thrive.
- Counseling Center: Call 970-351-2496 for guidance on how to support your student and encourage them to seek help.
If your student is already connected to the Counseling Center, you’re welcome to share concerns with us. Please note–because of confidentiality laws, we can’t confirm or share treatment details unless your student has signed a release.
Take Care of Yourself, Too
Supporting a student through tough times—especially from a distance—can be emotionally taxing. It’s important to check in with your own well-being as well.
Making time for rest, reflection, and support can help you show up for your student with more calm, clarity, and care. You’re in this together—and we’re here to help.