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Devon Naples
Fledgling
14 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 21 2012 : 10:15:32 PM
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Many of the philosophers we've read and discussed who are "metaphysical sexual optimists" have suggested that the morality of sexual acts should be evaluated on the same grounds upon which morality of any other acts is evaluated. Values such as beneficence, respect for autonomy (as in consent), and generosity are characteristic of good sex, while maleficence, violation of autonomy, and selfishness certainly describe bad sexual encounters. Most conditions of moral goodness or moral badness specific to sex acts put forth by the other philosophers and theologians we've read are arbitrary and logically flawed. After all, the optimists say, sex is just an act like any other act. It is often a meaningful act, but there is no good reason why sex should be governed by rules that are different from those that govern any other interpersonal activity. I find this to be a highly rational viewpoint, which leads me to wonder:
Why is sex such a big deal? Almost everyone does it eventually, and many people do it quite often. It’s an incredibly common and widespread thing, involving no more inherent bodily or moral risk than driving a car. Yet the topic itself is frequently taboo, and when talk about it is not censored, it is the center of attention. Children aren’t to know anything about it, but many adults are obsessed with it. Almost all religious sects have a lot to say about it. I’m sure you all know what I mean when I say that sex is generally a big deal.
I think it would be really interesting to try to figure out what it is about sex that makes it such a hot topic for ordinary people, religious organizations, and philosophers. There are probably a lot of factors that contribute to the dramatization of the topic. I think one of those factors may be nakedness.
Nakedness is a hallmark trait of typical sexual intercourse. It seems that no matter what you’re doing, the stakes get raised and things get steamier when clothes come off. Before people get naked, sexual behavior maintains a sort of innocence, perhaps because clothing serves as both a physical and a symbolic barrier to penetration. Two naked people rolling around in bed together are not just hanging out; their clothes are off for a reason. In fact, social nakedness is typically reserved for people who engage in sexual activity with each other, whether they are rolling around together or not. So if we were all nudists, and all of our interpersonal relationships involved nakedness, that barrier would not ever be there. Without this significant step of stripping down, would sex be as big of a deal?
And why is nakedness such a big deal? Perhaps it has something to do with sharing oneself as a body, as opposed to sharing oneself as a mind.
[Lightly edited to enhance readability -TT] |
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Devon Naples
Fledgling
14 Posts |
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Alex Artzer
Apprentice
29 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2012 : 06:36:12 AM
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I definitely agree with your argument--sex is just an act like any other act. It can be a meaningful act, but that doesn't mean that by nature it has to be. And you're right, it should be governed by the same rules as any other interpersonal act. But it isn't, which doesn't seem to make any sense. We should ask ourselves why this is. Our society and culture have emphasized the importance of sex, and once we set aside the reasons offered from the religious standpoint, there are no good reasons for thinking that one should abstain from sex.
When you talk about the inherent risks being no greater than those involved in driving a car, I would agree. New technology has introduced many different types of contraception for both male and females, and now that it has, you would think that people would be more open to sexual acts than they are and not tend to over-dramatize the act as much as they do. As is the case with any other activity in which we engage, there will be some risk. However, the arguments for the idea that we should abstain from sex on moral grounds never seem to me to hold up. And yet, we still make sex a big deal--while at the same time, not wanting to talk about it! I think part of the reason that we tend to over-dramatize sex is that it can result in bringing another life into the world. This seems to me to be the real reason that people take the topic of sex so seriously, and I think that people often forget that sex can also be a pleasurable act that doesn't have to be about procreation.
Now the truly interesting question you bring up is whether nakedness is also a factor that contributes to the dramatization of sex. I would agree that it does break down the barrier between people and allows both the body and the mind to connect on a different level than they do when clothes are on. Wearing clothes can sometimes be a defense mechanism. You can pretend to be someone else with clothes and you can "hide" who you are when you have them on. However, when you are naked, that barrier does break down. But the more important question here is why our society and culture have such a fear of nakedness. Embarrassment, self-consciousness, and fear surround the idea of being naked. I think that sex is seen as a big deal in society because it means breaking down those barriers. And maybe sex wouldn't be as big a deal if people were more comfortable with being naked. However, I can't figure out why nakedness is such a big deal. I have always wondered why society has such a fear of being naked. There should be no shame around nakedness, but perhaps the shame and embarrassment we feel has less to do with our bodies and more to do with the psychology behind the concept. By this I mean that because our culture has attributed such importance to being clothed, to be naked is to expose ourselves to the world and reveal who we really are, rather than hiding behind the facades we put up.
You mentioned that nakedness might be such a big deal because being naked is sharing oneself as a body as opposed to the mind. I would argue differently, however, because it seems to me that sharing one's mind is far more intimate than sharing one's body. I would argue that in nakedness your innermost "being" (call that mind, soul, essence...) is exposed, and you become much more than just a physical body. I think this idea scares people and could be the reason that we find such comfort in clothing.
I am definitely interested in hearing more opinions on the idea of nakedness. This is something I have always wondered about, and I do agree that this could be one of the reasons that we attribute such importance to sex.
[Lightly edited to enhance readability -TT] |
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Tony Aguirre
Fledgling
12 Posts |
Posted - Mar 02 2012 : 6:57:20 PM
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I think that the nakedness you're talking about has to do with more than clothing or the lack thereof. I think the nakedness you're talking about is the metaphorical nakedness that unveils one's self completely with the result that one is stripped down to this vulnerable state of being. You're allowing another person into your physical domain, but most importantly you're allowing your mind to enter into this scary open area of pleasure.
I do agree that sex shouldn't be a taboo. It should be talked about openly with sincerity, respect, and education. This dialogue should explore the insecurities and the fears that are involved in sexual activity and release us from this burden at the same time, ultimately moving forward in a positive way, so that we can begin to feel comfortable and then grow stronger, more confident, and more capable of self-esteem. Talking about this uncomfortable, taboo subject then becomes a pathway to self-esteem and self-respect. Having these in our repertoire is going to lead ue to make better choices, not just about sex but in every aspect of our lives. This is because we're now comfortable with who we are and able to rely on this self-understanding so as to free ourselves from this fear of vulnerability.
Now sex becomes an intimate dance—thought not a dance in which one person has to lead the whole time. It becomes a rhythmic sway of give and take. This willingness to let another take the lead, and then switch roles, makes the dance worth dancing.
[Lightly edited to enhance readability -TT] |
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Monica Daly
Fledgling
15 Posts |
Posted - Mar 03 2012 : 4:16:45 PM
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As I was thinking about Devon's question, I was reading alex's response, and she wrote almost exactly what I was thinking about the topic of nakedness. Clothes, I believe, are a sheild or a barrier, almost like a wall. When we take them off and expose our bodies to our sexual partner, we are more aware of our flaws, and those flaws being accepted by someone else. I am reminded of a "Friends" episode when Chandler dates a woman who finds out he has a third nipple and is so grossed out by this that she leaves. Society has let us to believe that being naked is inappropriate and we are too afraid to be judged. Which brings me to the topic of discussing sex so nonchalant.
We cannot discuss sex so openly because peopole are afraid of the subject. Kind of like the subject of death. We do not want to discuss with our children that we will one day die. Maybe part of us doesn't want to talk about sex because it is just too much information about people that we don't want to know or care to know. |
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What's the Big Deal?
