Empowering Students as they Transition to Post-Secondary Life...

Many parents and educators will often say that one of the most difficult aspects of transition planning is allowing their child to make their own decisions, providing them with such opportunities, and trusting that they will be okay. Please read Beth's entry below where she describes the dance between allowing her child to become independent, while still providing a "safety net" of support as his mother.

Role of parents – how it changes through school to transition and beyond….. By Beth Schaffner

The role of families as advocates and “vision-keepers” remains critically important as their children with disabilities move through school and into their adult lives.  There are also some important changes in that role as children move on to adulthood. 

It was hard for me as Rob’s mom to let go a little and give him his wings.  I had an especially hard time when he first moved away from our home into an apartment. I had many sleepless nights and spent a lot of time “checking up” on him to be sure all was ok – and his first apartment was practically in our backyard in the apartment complex across the alley from our home! 

Through our many experiences as Rob has moved toward more independence in his adult life, we have learned that Rob needs to have the opportunity to try new things and stretch, to learn and grow in ways that may have been limited by professionals and others (including parents sometimes) limited expectations for him. 

Rob needed to have the opportunity to fail so that he could learn from his failures as well.  I can’t tell you the number of times when Rob has accomplished things we never dreamed he could do just because he was given the opportunity to learn and grow by being a part of real life in the real world, not the segregated disability world.

My husband and I find that we still must be the “safety net” for Rob, even now that he is in his 30’s.  We often have to provide him with advice and guide him in making decisions.  But we know we cannot control him.  It is often a subtle dance between assuring that Rob is as independent as he can be, that he exercises his right to make choices, but at the same time we need to be there for him in situations where his health or safety may be at risk or where he struggles with understanding what is going on or with expressing his wants and needs to those who may not understand his communication.

Rob’s circle of friends and acquaintances continue to play a huge role in reassuring my husband and me that we can “back off” and not be as controlling or as worried about Rob.  There are a host of friends, families, co-workers and others who are a part of Rob’s circle, who come together for his planning meetings but who are also around regularly and invite him to be part of their lives.  These people genuinely like him and care about his future and have committed to being there for him.

How can educators empower their students through transition?

Like parents, teachers should also allow their students to become independent and to make decisions on their own, while providing a network of support. It is recommended that teachers collaborate with their families and support each other to empower students to develop self-determinism as they prepare for their transition to adulthood.

The biggest qualities a teacher needs are a strengths-focused attitude, openness, and authentic respect for students with disabilities and for their families.  When teachers treat parents as equals, the team can be very proactive and productive..