Description of the Problem:

Angela is plagued with a couple of different self-problems that are interfering with her functioning. The first is self-deception, which is when we mislead ourselves so that we may believe that something about ourselves is true when in fact it is not. In Angela’s case she sees herself as a perfect, wonderful person while her co-workers see her as harsh, controlling, and judgmental. She also believes that religion and morality are important but she is cheating on her fiancée with another co-worker.

Angela is showing signs of externally imposed self, which is where you are not feeling like you are your own person; instead you feel like you are whoever someone else wants you to be. In Angela’s case she is exactly what her parents wanted her to be. Her whole identity is made up of her conservative upbringing, harsh religious beliefs, and authoritarian home life. She was never allowed to experiment with who she really was; she was just expected to live up to the standards and rules that were set for her. Now she is basically a replica of her parents, instead of her own person.

Angela also shows signs of limited possible selves. She can only see herself in one way. She feels that she and the people around her need to be perfect and moral and anything else is unacceptable. For example, she believes that everyone who does not go to church, do things in a certain way, or work really hard are self-destructive. Also, she cannot see herself doing any other kind of job or having any different personality; there is only one way for things to be.

Causes for Angela:

In regards to Angela the cause of her self -deception may be linked to her need to have a positive view of herself. Self-deceivers typically distort their daily event in order to build positive esteem. (Paulhus and Reid, 1991). When Angela looks down at others all she is doing is trying to make herself look and feel better. Another cause of Angela’s self deception would her need for her idea of her own subjective well being. Subjective well-being (SWB) refers to how people evaluate their lives, and includes variables such as life satisfaction and marital satisfaction, lack of depression and anxiety, and positive moods and emotions (Diener,Suh and Oishi, 1997).

The cause of Angela’s externally imposed self is her need to be viewed as a successful individual by her peers as well as her parents. According to the self verification theory we seek out verification of our selves. (Swann, 2007) In order to a positive self verification Angela falls suit to what others, may approve of. The others have to be someone in which she feels is superior to her.

Solutions:

Angela’s main problem is that her life is filled with self-deception and a limited self-view. If Angela wants a healthier sense of self and a better identity, there are several things that she can do to accomplish this. Angela needs to be open to seeing other ways of doing things besides her own way. In doing so, she will be exposed to views different from her own, and she may become more open to new ideas. Additionally, Angela needs to have an openness to new scenarios and healthier relationships where the other person does not accept everything she does. Gaining a relationship like this, Angela will hopefully realize that her way is not the only way to do things. Most importantly, Angela needs to gain self-awareness. Angela needs to self-reflect and try to get to know herself. In order to gain self-awareness, Angela needs to know: what she wants in her life, what her strengths and weaknesses are, what motivates her and makes her happy, what her achievements thus far are, how she relates to others, and what she needs to improve as a person. By self-reflecting, hopefully Angela will begin to know the answer to all of the above ideas. Furthermore, by gaining self-awareness, Angela will create better relationships with others, and more importantly, a better sense of self.