Theatre of the Absurd: The Parent/Teacher/Student Interview

It was time for another parent/teacher/student interview. A ritual those parents who have students in elementary or junior high schools are familiar with. The format follows educational fashion. Once upon a time, students weren't allowed. Then, students were seen and not heard. Now some students write, produce, direct, and star in videos about their learning. But, the essential components of the interview haven't changed--providing a time for affirming, a time to be re-assured that a student is doing fine, that homework is up to date and marks are satisfactory. Many parents may even want to know if their child gets along well with classmates. However, not all interviews follow such a topic script.

To see how the ritual usually unfolds, let's look at Julie's interview. Julie is a junior high school student and her interview takes place in a brightly-lit school library. There are several low, round computer tables, each with four or five chairs, spread throughout the room. There are about 15 interviews taking place at one time and, consequently, there is a lot of movement and ambient noise. The principal greets Julie and her parents as they enter the room. Then the librarian, working from a large schedule, directs them to a table to wait for the teachers. Julie's father first gets a coffee from the cart in the corner and then the family sits down. Conversation ensues:

Mother: It doesn't matter. This is better than chasing all over the school trying to find her teachers.

Mother: I don't know. I asked to see her English teacher and her math teacher. I'm worried about her math. Julie, do you know who we will be seeing?

Julie: Ms. Jones for sure. She's my homeroom teacher, and she teaches English. I don't know if Mr. Spence will show up.

Ms. Jones: [hurrying to the table] Hi, I'm Ms. Jones. I'm sorry I'm late. We're a little behind. We had a really good turnout.

Julie: [starts] Oh. My English is okay; I've caught up on my book reports, and I passed the last Math exam.

Julie: Phys Ed is okay. I liked volley ball, but now we are doing social dance. It's okay, but there aren't enough boys, so I have to dance with another girl. I like to lead.

Ms. Jones: I teach Julie English and she is doing well. She participates in class and has some good ideas. She certainly stands up for women's rights. I know Mr. Spence wants to talk to you about science. But Julie, you're taking drama aren't you? How is that going?

Julie: Okay I guess. I wanted to play the mother, but Brigitte got that part. I'm just one of the kids, and I only get two lines.

Father: I'm glad that Julie thinks she's doing well. How do you think she's doing in English and Math?

Ms. Jones: This is Julie's mother, Mrs. Smythe, and Julie's father, Mr. Fritz. You're just in time to tell them how Julie is doing in science.

Mr. Spence: I wanted to talk to you, because I was really impressed with Julie's science project.

Mr. Spence: She's obviously done a lot of work and shows a good understanding of electricity. I'd like to have her enter it in the district science fair. I haven't talked to Julie about it because she needs parent permission. Someone will need to get her to the Jameson High School gym before 8:30 on April 2, and there is a $25 entry fee.

Mr. Spence: [noticing the look] It's a Saturday, and if the fee is a problem, just let us know. Julie would need to do a little more work and remount her display, but we have the material here.

Mr. Spence: Soon. The entry deadline is next Friday. If Julie can tell me this Monday, that would be fine.

Ms. Jones: We're running out of time. Julie, have you thought about your goals for the next term?

Julie: I'm going to get my homework done on time and hand in all of my book reports.

Ms. Jones: That's would be nice [smile]. We really have to go. If you have any questions, just call. Julie is really doing well. It's been nice meeting you.

Well that was painless. It seems that Julie is doing fine, whatever that means. We don't know what she has learned, is going to learn, or why, but she is doing fine. And she's going to get her homework done--everyone's favorite learning goal.

Tigr, like his namesake, is a big, bright, bouncy, boisterous, boy. However, that isn't the problem. The problem is that he doesn't do his assignments, and he fritters away his time in class. Also, he traditionally has been the victim of teasing and bullying but has been learning how to deal with it. None of this is new, so Tigr, his parents, and his teachers are resigned to repeating previous conversations. A complicating factor is that Tigr's father used to be a school trustee and has been on the school council for an extended amount of time.

Like Julie's parents, Tigr's parents are met by the principal and assigned a table. Tigr's father takes a coffee first as well, prior to sitting down. So does Tigr. Because the interview is scheduled for 4:30, Tigr has been waiting at the school for his conference time to arrive:

Father: [exasperated] And you couldn't get some books before then! You've got late assignments for every subject; you're at school anyway, [louder] and you still didn't do any work!

Ms. Thoms: [comes to the table with Ms. Jones] Hello again. How have you been doing?

Ms. Thoms: Mr. Fennel wanted to be here, but we don't have much time, so we had better get started.

Ms. Thoms: Well, Tigr is doing well in drama and physical education. Both of his teachers say that he works hard and is getting along with his classmates. Mrs. Tate, his drama teacher, says that Tigr has real talent.

Ms. Thoms: Not really, but he is paying more attention in class and works while he is there. He just doesn't finish anything. Does he have a place to work at home?

Father: He has a desk in his room, but he can't find it under all the clothes, papers, and toys.

Father: We send him downstairs to his room after supper, but he does everything but.

Father: He doesn't have any. Other than cadets, which we put him in to improve his social skills, he doesn't go anywhere. We let him visit a friend on weekends. We can't keep him locked up. There isn't much else we can do unless you want us to beat him.

Ms. Jones: [not sure she's being teased] No, don't beat him. Tigr has several book reports outstanding, and I don't understand it. I know he reads the books. I've had to take them away from him when I'm lecturing.

Mother: That's good. For a long time he would only read children's books. He'd read his sister's books before she could. We've started making him read to her.

Ms. Jones: He understands the novel we're reading and asks some good questions. The little bit of writing he has done is quite good.

Mother: [swats at Tigr when he starts picking foam from the bottom of the cup]

Father: We're not happy, but he is getting better. He actually does more work than his brother, but he is in your face about it. By the time he's done what you asked, you're exhausted. Then he wonders why we don't thank him.

Mr. Fennel: [strides up to the table and sits down] Sorry I'm late. I was tied up with another parent. Have you talked about Tigr's homework?

Mr. Fennel: Well, I teach Social Studies, and his effort is not acceptable. He owes me two assignments, and there is major project due next week. [looks at Tigr] Have you started it?

Mr. Fennel: What are you going to do when you get to high school? They won't care about excuses. Did you understand the assignment?

Mr. Fennel: He got 65 on the first quiz, 55 on the second and 30 on the one I gave last week.

Mr. Fennel: No, but I offered to let him finish it after school, and he didn't come in.

Mr. Fennel: [glaring at Tigr] When you're working, that won't be good enough! No employer is going to let you work when you want or do what you want.

Mr. Fennel: Have you ever thought about family counseling? I know you're having trouble with Tigr, and we could arrange it through social services. They might be able to give you some useful advice.

Father: I don't think we need family counseling. Tigr is a pain, but he is getting better at home and at school.

Mr. Fennel: Well, if that's how you feel, but I think it would help. Just call Mrs. Barnes if you want to set it up.

Tigr: [shrunk down in his chair until you can hardly see him behind a tiny bit of white foam]

Ms. Thoms: We are getting backed up and should go. Call me if you have anymore questions, and thank you for coming.

Well, that had more substance. We don't know what Tigr is learning or supposed to learn, but we know he isn't working. Tigr just tried to stay out of the way and not be noticed. You tend to do that when you know you're going to lose. The interview started positively with a discussion of Tigr's successes and improvement, if any. The teachers and Tigr's parents started doing this about three interviews ago, because they all knew what Tigr didn't do and were tired of talking about it. Talking about what Tigr did was much more pleasant, and Tigr seemed to be reacting to the positive re-enforcement. The tone of the interview changed when Mr. Fennel arrived. He had an agenda, and it wasn't positive re-enforcement. Clearly, Tigr needs to complete his assignments and use his class time effectively. However, did getting Tigr to admit that he had no excuses whatsoever for not completing his assignments, that he was given extra chances to finish his work and didn't, and that he was a poor student help? How long will it be before Tigr comes out from behind the foam and goes to class eager to learn and ready to work? And, finally, after being told in a public forum that they can't handle their son, will Tigr's parents be supportive of efforts to change Tigr's behavior?

There is much ritual in the parent/teacher/student interview, but it serves an important purpose. Teachers and parents are coming together to talk about the education of their children. The use of "their" isn't an error. The teachers are just as possessive as the parents. Both parties know what's best for the children, but they see the children in different contexts and sometimes disagree. Ritual channels the emotion and provides structure for a frank discussion of how the student is doing and what should be done. Sometimes people step out of their assigned roles and others are hurt. However, if substantive discussions are avoided, the ritual transforms the process into a theatre of the absurd: a play in which everyone plays their part without communicating with the other actors. Like a window display of ducks bobbing in the sunlight--each duck incessantly bobbing, never drinking, oblivious to the others.

Academic Exchange Extra invites reader response to any writings in this issue--especially articles advancing the scholarly debate of issues raised.

------------------------------ Page Citation Reference:
Phillips, Larry. (2005). AE-Extra. January. Available Online.
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Created: 8 December 2004. Updated: 31 January 2005. Accessed: ]